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Tuesday, September 6, 2016

A Reflection

I haven't written in a long time, but today I have been giving a lot of thought about how far I have come.

As a little girl, I always had big hopes for the future. I remember being that shy, little, brunette girl walking into my first day of kindergarten ready to take on the world. I had vast dreams of one day being a veterinarian because of my immense love of animals. That dream didn't go quite as planned. But I think I am exactly where I am supposed to be.

As I reflect on my past, I can't help but be thankful for how far I have come. When I was a little girl school had never been an easy road for me. I can tell you that school and I did not mesh well together. Throughout my adolescence, I struggled to comprehend what my teachers were telling me.

Imagine being a little child and being observed by your parents, teachers, and doctors wondering what exactly was wrong with you. On the outside, I was like any other normal child. But on the inside, I just could not grasp the hang of school. I would sit down with hearing and speech professionals and not be able to decipher whether I just heard the word "cat" or "hat."

It wasn't until I was tested for ADHD and ADD that I learned I had a learning disorder. Through countless tests, medications, and tutoring I was eventually able to gain a grasp on what was wrong with me. It wasn't until middle school and high school that I really knew what kind of learning disability I had.

I was diagnosed with auditory processing disorder. Many individuals think "What the heck is that?" Essentially children with APD struggle to process and make meaning of sounds. Hence I couldn't decipher between "cat" and "hat." This occurs frequently when there are a lot of background noises as well.

Through the guidance of my doctors and teachers, I was able to fully accept my disorder. At first, I was embarrassed and ashamed that I had a disorder. But to be completely honest, my auditory processing has made me who I am today.

Of course, I have those days where I'm very frustrated and think why can't I just understand what's going on like my fellow peers. But I have learned that everyone learns differently. Some people just take a little longer to process information.

For example, I am someone who does not quite grasp ideas right away as other people do. It's not easy living with a learning disorder. You have to teach yourself how to manage it and come up with unique ways on how to be successful in and out of the classroom.

This post is dedicated to those individuals who have learning difficulties and are thinking why they can't just have it easy like their peers.

Look: Yes, some people will be smarter than you. But as my mom  always says "He who laughs last, laughs the loudest."

It's important to keep pushing through even when you have those days where you're crying in frustration. I know I have had those days and I'm sure you have too. But you have to look on the bright side and say to yourself  "Look at me. I have made it through the good and the bad to get where I am today."

On a final note: I want to send a huge shout out to everyone who has believed in me to just keep swimming! If it were not for my supportive system I would not be where I am today.

 As Michael Jordan says "I can accept failure, everyone fails at something. But I can't accept not trying."